On Fashion & Fashionism

Petunia the Evil One has recently posted what appears to be a blog entry. Do not be deceived, dear reader: this is an attempt to make you believe she is saying something important. The large pictures do more than demonstrate her incapacity for language: they affirm her desire to turn you into a brainwashed peasant.

Do you want to be a peasant? No, likely not. But there is nothing wrong with dressing like one. Petunia, you will notice with only a momentary glance, spews an ideology which can only be labelled as "Fashionism" - it is a system wherein rationality is tossed aside, and for a social hierarchy it relies on designer clothing, jewellry, makeup, scent, and other useless articles. In other words, you are placed as you dress.

I will not ramble on about the evils of fashion in the world: how it is a corruption of the human spirit, a degrading of the self into an object of mindless consumption and ignorant presentation. As if a logo might embody a state of mind, a belief, a principle, a movement - as if colour coordination equates to commitment to your fellow man or woman. Fashion is the disgusting result of our sick society's obsession with the superficial; and fashionism the hijacking of this en masse cultural stupidity as a means for Petunia and her collection of evil white cats to rule the world.

I shit you not.

We are in the grips of a coming struggle. Its spectre haunts Europe and rises with the moon. The countless fools who find meaning in collars, khakis, belts, and cowboy boots will soon witness the sky grow black; they will soon feel a tingle in their abdomen. It will all be too late, of course; for the black sky will be their forgotten mascara-drenched tears, and the tingle my 1972 Barbara Streisand Candle Collection Series 1 candle-putter-outer poker emerging from their stomach. And in the distance they will hear us laugh.

They will see it unfold as it has been foretold in the Blog of Revelations, last of the Blogosphere, and we three horsemen (looking for a fourth to make it more psychologically satisfying - applications still accepted...) will ride past the plain white gates into the New Valley of No Judgment where all wearable things are only worn for utility, and where global warming has ceased to be a problem because ignorant televsion-bashed brainless shitheads who overconsume for their own god damn feel-good shallow-minded piss-in-the-river-what's-it-to-me I'll-wear-what-makes-me-feel-sexy-and-good-about-myself-because-I-have-no-other-source-of-self-worth so let's-pollute-everything-and-buy-sweat-shop-but-YAY-DESIGNER fucking no-good self-centred mentality WILL BE FUCKING SHOT AND DROPPED IN THE CLEAR AND CLEAN RIVER!

But not into her trivial dogma. Fashionism will die. Join us now.

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Revelations of a life lived in (a) coordinated inability to write a single word.

I don't think it can be ignored. I don't think it can or should be ignored. It must be acknowledged.

Yes, it must be acknowledged that their is a rival to The Rival Blog of RLLS and it must be acknowledged.

.... And yet, why on earth would we not acknowledge a rival blog considering said rivals' puny pathetic insignificance! It does show, however, that already in the short time that the forefather (SLT) of our cause began this momentous and most sacred of blogs, and I, (GS) became its first disciple, already, we must battle against jealously and potential slander (which frankly could constitute as bullying)

This is until of course you let your eyes peruse the existing rival... and then your sides hurt from the monumental sidesplitting laughter that courses through your body as the so-called-rival has not even managed a sentence. Hasn't written a. Single. Word. A whole day on. Whilst this blog approaches double figures after just three days (which is paramount to a child taking it's first steps after a mere month of life) not even a single solitary letter adorns their page. They couldn't even muster the intelligence or wit to come up with their own title - instead having to rip off ours in a virtual cut and paste exercise (you will be hearing from our lawyers)

So it is with this that i encourage the disciples and wide readership of this blog to, please, go and look at the rival Rival Blog. Look and join in with my hysterical laughter till your shirt is wet with your own tears. Cackle at what is less a rival and more an afterthought.

Generic Shithead

(All the above was true as of 16.44 pm 27th Feb 2009, looking at a PC screen in the Ruv')